My brothers and I are fond of saying alarmist things to my mother. This often comes in the form of something like, "Oh, Christopher got arrested", when we come home from a night out and he's not with us, or "Don't worry, I was just smoking some rabbit tobacco", in response to her inquiry into the evil smell emanating from the bathroom. At this point, she is clearly aware of our continuous deception, but plays along with surprise almost every time. Since we're only together now once a year over the holiday season, the most popular thing to say is that "[insert brother name here] ruined Christmas". This phrase is uttered no fewer than once every 15 minutes during our holiday vacations. It's usually in response to something like realizing we've bought our mother the same gift, the turkey is a little dry, or that the firewood supply is infested with ants. Most times, though, it's just entertaining to yell it at my mother to fill a lull in the conversation.
So, George Lucas is not my brother, so how can he be the culprit? I just spent $20 at Fry's to buy the Director's Cut of his first feature, THX 1138, just released on DVD. Now, I already have a copy of the movie on LaserDisc, but I was duped into buying the new collection on DVD because of the additional features, including documentary footage of a young George Lucas, before he decided that he would deface all of his own artwork. Since the re-release of the original Star Wars movie with his enhancements and extensions, I've been disappointed with everything he's done. These idiotic additions are what ruin the once-pure THX 1138. Sometimes directors release an additional cut of their films on video with slight editorial alterations to the story. This I can handle, and in many cases, I prefer these cuts to the original theatrical releases. In most cases, the directors are compelled to specifically call out that the releases are "Director's Cut[s]" and continue distribution of the original. Lucas, on the other hand, seems to think that it's his opportunity to add clutter to the landscapes, obscure action sequences with more fire and explosions, fundamentally change the nature of characters (e.g. Han murders Greedo, not in self defense), and add poorly rendered digital attack monkeys whenever there is a lull.
In a recent interview, he responded to criticism that he was changing his movies for the worse simply by saying "I'm making the movies, so I should have it my way", and, "The other movie, it's on VHS, if anybody wants it". The "other" movie he is referring to is, of course, the original release of the film before he decided to revise history without telling anyone. As a billionaire, I suppose he's used to doing whatever he wants. I just wish he wasn't so content on destroying the masterworks of his youth, and obscuring the evidence that they ever existed. Burn baby, burn.
Don't waste your money on the new versions of THX 1138 or the Star Wars Trilogy. In the meantime, it might be worth tracking down a good copy of American Graffiti before he destroys that one too. And brothers, you'll have to give me some idea of what you want for Christmas, as I've just had to eliminate two options.